Conversations
by Penn O'Hara
Summary: #13 aka "Rocky and Bullwinkle". BA. A series of conversations and actions prompted by the episodes in Season 7. "Armed for Peace" is a spin-off of #9. "Above and Beyond" is a spin-off of #12.
1. Chapter 1

**"Conversations"**

**_Copyright 200__8 Penn O'Hara_**

_**T**_

_**Usual disclaimers apply.**_

**_LOCI Timeline: __During Season Seven, post "Amends"._**

_**MY LOCI Timeline: Post "No Going Back" and "Queen of Spades".**_

**_A/N:__ My next project. I'm going to tackle the ongoing relationships of Bobby and Alex, Logan and Carolyn, as they battle through LOCI Season 7 — how they handle the cases, new partners (poor Mikey … again) and each other. How they interact during the day and what they do at the end of the day — well, Logan and Carolyn'll always end up in bed, so Bobby and Alex will be the ones to watch. When? If? ;-) _**

_**Having read "Queen of Spades" is a must for the Bobby/Alex chapters, but the BA shippers are pardoned from reading Logan.**_

**_As with my "Oceans Two", each chapter will be from a specific detective's POV only.__ And I'm aiming for them to be short and sweet. _**

_**oOo**_

**_Number One: __Based on a conversation Logan and Eames had in my LOCI Universe, "No Going Back" (Chapter Nine, if you want to skip all the Logan Stuff.) _**

_**Alex' POV.**_

**The outdoor café shielded them from the steady stream of New York commuters and wasn't crowded, but there were enough patrons that you had to pick your table carefully, else a conversation would be overhead. The clientele were mostly women; friends sharing coffee; mothers accompanying daughters on shopping trips, judging from the amount of shopping bags deposited beside their chairs; and the woman near her was conducting a job interview with an over-eager, painfully thin girl with anxious eyes.**

**And then there was her. With Bobby.**

**Their relationship had become more strained, Bobby now choosing to shoulder the blame for Alex' blip on the Chief of Detectives' radar. No amount of assurances had convinced him otherwise, so Alex resigned herself to tolerating his martyrdom.**

**She had wanted a breather from the office and Bobby offered to accompany her, so she'd given him the choice of venue. What he didn't know was that Alex decided it was time they had a chat and made amends.**

**"What made you pick here?" she asked, eyeing his bulk on the small chair.**

**He looked around, a mixture of surprise and anxiety, and the chair creaked in protest. "You don't like it?"**

**"If it's got good coffee, I don't care." Lifting her cup, she tasted it. It _was _good. She studied him as he meticulously stirred the sugar into his coffee. He rarely drank the beverage, but Alex guessed he was making an effort to be social.**

**It was obvious in the lines on his face, the dullness in his eyes and the shadows under them that he wasn't sleeping well. Her heart went out to him, knowing the cause of his distress but helpless to sweep away his dilemma. Particularly while she suspected he hadn't told her everything.**

**"Seen Captain Chase lately?" she asked. Bobby never talked about Rebecca but Alex couldn't believe the other woman had given up so easily.**

**Bobby's hands slipped from the sides of his cup and fluttered back again. "Now and then," he mumbled.**

**"Only now and then?" Alex couldn't accuse him of hiding the fact from her — their personal lives were still deliberately separate — but her heart dropped to her stomach that he hadn't chosen to mention it.**

**"What? You _use_ her when it suits you?" she blurted out her hurt.**

**Bobby's jaw jerked and Alex caught the flash of fire before it was banked.**

_**That's one each, Bobby.**_

**"That's not fair," Alex said, lashing out at him, unable to stop.**

**"Unfair to Rebecca or unfair to me?" Bobby demanded, and Alex' jaw dropped.**

**"Whaddya mean, Bobby?"**

**Shaking his head, he lifted his cup and gulped a mouthful. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he wouldn't look at her. "Let's not… get into this…"**

**Surprised their conversation had turned so volatile, so soon, Alex had to at least try to defend herself. "You promised you would give me time."**

**"I will and I have." Alex watched in awe as the battle-light came on in Bobby's eyes. "I'm yours when you give the word, Eames. Until that time…if Rebecca's willing…"**

**Alex swallowed down her… disgust? Disgust was too strong a word. She couldn't tell if he was accusing her of being a dog in the manger or simply scoring another round for himself. Unable to contemplate the thought of him with Rebecca, Alex searched for something else to talk about, reminding herself that this had been _her _idea.**

**"Falacci and Logan seem to be working out okay," she said, going for neutral territory.**

**Battle-light extinguished, Bobby's attention wandered to the other patrons, glancing at each, his mind, no doubt, processing who and what they were and why they were there — one of his little mental exercises that he used to stretch his profiling skills.**

**"I wouldn't know," he murmured.**

_**Why not, Bobby? Don't you see anything outside of your private little hell anymore?**_

**Alex blew a sigh through her teeth, dialing it back. "I took a case of his while you were…on leave. Worked with Wheeler before she left."**

**Bobby's interest sharpened, his gaze sliding to hers. "What happened to Logan?"**

**"He had a personal issue. Some neighbor of his died. He wanted to follow it up."**

**Bobby nodded and turned away, zoning out.**

**Alex' stomach tightened, sensing he'd lost interest in the whole 'talk over coffee' thing as well.**

**Whether to shock him or merely test his concentration, Alex decided to let him in on a little secret. "Carolyn was away at the time. On business. For a week. She said Logan kept the relationship alive by having phone sex with her. I've never tried it—"**

**Bobby's head snapped around, his eyes widening. "What are you saying? You wanna have phone sex?"**

**"No! I just thought… Logan and Carolyn are getting along so well. I'm…happy for them."**

**"And we're getting along like…?"**

**Alex baulked, wearying of dodging the land mines. "We're still working well together, but I feel…I'm the one…makin' all the compromises. Giving you your head…then pickin' up the pieces."**

**Slamming his cup onto the table, Bobby pushed himself to his feet, leaning on his hands as he came in close.**

**"You wanna have phone sex with someone?" he said, his voice rising. "Call me. You wanna go to bed with someone? Call me. Got it? Right now…I'm done talkin'."**

**Pulling out his wallet, he tossed a greenback onto the table and pushed through the tables to disappear into the pedestrian stream.**

**Alex caught the look of shock from the skinny girl and sympathy from the woman interviewing her.**

**Thumping her elbow onto the table for support, she dropped her chin into her palm.**

_**That didn't go well.**_

**oOo**


	2. Chapter 2

**"Conversations"**

**_Copyright 2008 Penn O'Hara_**

**_T_**

**_Usual disclaimers apply._**

**_LOCI Timeline: During Season Seven, post "Seeds"._**

**_MY LOCI Timeline: Post "No Going Back" and "Queen of Spades"._**

**_A/N: Recant: Having read "Queen of Spades" is a must for the Bobby/Alex chapters, but the BA shippers are pardoned from reading Logan. Shoo! Go away…this is a Logan chapter. :-D_**

**_Remember: These won't be necessarily "stories" but isolated "conversations". _**

**_oOo_**

**_Number Two: Carolyn's POV._**

**Letting herself into their apartment — she still smiled to think of it as theirs now, rather than hers — Carolyn hung up her coat and went in search of Mike. She knew he was home. She could ****_smell _****him.**

**No more cheap cologne for Mike Logan — she'd found his collection and emptied them down the drain. He now sported her favorites, Tabac and Ralph Lauren's Chaps, and judging by the scent in the air, her honey had just showered and donned Chaps. Carolyn smiled in anticipation.**

**She found him in the kitchen, a beer in one hand and the refrigerator door in the other, bent over, peering into its cavity. He pulled out a container of pumpkin seeds and frowned in confusion, obviously not appreciating their nutritional value. Quickly assessing the absence of clothing on his body, save a brown towel at his waist, Carolyn's pulse quickened as she nodded her head in approval.**

**Playing it cool, she went for the inane. "So, how'd Falacci pan out today?" she asked, swinging her hips toward him.**

**He looked up from the refrigerator, his gaze sweeping her. "Now, why would you want to know, Barek?" He grinned at her, lifting his beer to his mouth. **

**Pursing her lips, she wagged a finger at him, letting her eyes roam the water-slickened hair, strong throat and smooth, broad shoulders of her man. "Clock off, Detective Logan, that's Carolyn to you. Or better still... ****_love_****-bucket…"**

**Mike spluttered over his beer, morphing into a coughing fit.**

**"If I…called you that…" he gasped, "you'd have my balls… for dinner."**

**"You'd better believe it, big fella." Her gaze slipped and dropped to below his waist, memory doing the rest. Gulping in a deep breath, she bit her lip. Hard. **_**Settle down, girl, you don't wanna give him a big head to match. **_

**"So…" she breathed, "how come 'Barek' slipped out?"**

**Closing the refrigerator door, his eyes scanned her, undressed her, and the dawning glint told her they approved of what they saw. "Yeah, well when you're all prim and proper in your Chief of Ds' office suit, you look more like Barek."**

**"Then do something about it, hotshot." **

**Standing back from the refrigerator, he folded his arms, muscles bulging beneath his bare skin. "Not until you feed me. I'm starvin'." He snapped another grin. "Gotta keep up the strength, ya know."**

**"Yeah, yeah. " She eyed him and frowned. "Though, if that towel isn't an open invitation, I don't know what is…"**

**Mike stepped past her, whipped off the towel and waggled his buns at her as he left the kitchen. "That's called…incentive."**

**oOo**

**_I warned you… they're gonna be short and sweet._**

**_I caught a Logan/Barek LOCI episode last night and watched the real Carolyn Barek character in action, and I'm sad to say, there is no life in the woman. What a shame. I'm afraid I much prefer MY Barek._**


	3. Chapter 3

**"Conversations"**

_**Copyright 2008 Penn O'Hara**_

_**T**_

_**Usual disclaimers apply.**_

_**LOCI Timeline: During Season Seven, post "Smile".**_

_**MY LOCI Timeline: Post "No Going Back" and "Queen of Spades".**_

_**A/N: I set myself a little challenge… trying to incorporate the name of each of the episodes that prompted the chapter, INTO the chapter. I've even gone back and edited Chapters One and Two with that express purpose. If you have the inclination, feel free to go see if you can find where the episode names pop up in the previous chapters and see if you notice when they pop up in the future.**_

_**oOo**_

_**Number Three: I polled my favorite LOCI board and BA shippers and come to the conclusion that the majority feel Alex' words at the end of "Smile" pertained to her realizing that further promotion for her was out of the question because she was 'tainted' in the eyes of the brass by Bobby's behavior. I'm amazed, because where my head was at, I immediately leapt to a totally different conclusion, one which I'll expound below and you may disagree and scoff, but… each to his own.**_

_**Goren's POV**_

**"It's too late," Alex said.**

**Head down, she left the CEO's offic.e to join the unformed officers as they escorted Leslie Lezard out of the building.**

**Goren was floored. Lezard's words had been the product of pettiness and fear at being caught out for murder. Alex' had been from the heart.**

**Catching up to her at the elevator of the FDA offices, he frowned as he watched her closely, hoping to see some sign she regretted what she said. Her face was set, staring straight ahead, refusing to look at him. Sharing the elevator with the others, he said nothing, but his brain churned with questions.**

**He spent the journey to the ground floor seething at her disloyalty. It had come to this. She not only resented him for continuing to see Rebecca but for blind-siding her career. It wasn't enough to make him suffer for wanting her and being unable to act upon it, she had to demoralize him with guilt.**

**Goren saw Lezard into the police car at the curb and joined Alex at their SUV. Stopping her hand on the car door, he turned her to look at him.**

**"What did you mean… by what you said?" he demanded. "…'It's too late'." A sense of betrayal stabbed at his temples, and frustration that he couldn't see her face for the curtain of hair hiding it, whipped his patience.**

**She shook her head, her soft hair giving up the scent that he had memorized and carried to sleep with him.**

**"You blame me—"**

**"No!" She spun around to face him. "I don't want to _be_ anywhere else! Don't you get it? I wanna stay your partner, not sit behind a desk." She struggled to get the door open, but he held fast, lifting her chin with his other hand until she was forced her to meet his gaze.**

**"What are you saying?" He dared to smile. He dared to hope.**

**"Do I have to spell it out for you?"**

**"Yes!"**

**Squeezing her eyes shut, her mouth worked over her wretchedness. Bobby flayed himself again for being the source of such misery in her, but it was time he forced the issue. This had gone on long enough. **

**"It's too late to worry about not gettin' promoted," she said, hopelessness filtering through, "I'd refuse anyway. It was too late the day I realized there's nothin' I'd rather do than work with you." Tears squeezed under her eyelids. "Damn it, I'm in love with you, Bobby, but I can't be a part of your…downward spiral."**

**Bobby jerked back as if he'd been hit. The hope that had flared at her words shriveled from the look of despair on her face. "Then why—"**

**"I told you why—"**

**"It's not enough, Eames!" Wounded by his misinterpreting her and shocked by her revelation, Bobby felt the anger bubble through him. "To tell me… you're not ready… for what?"**

**Finally meeting his gaze, her eyes swam in her tears. "You've been so…erratic…lately. I know your mother… but you should be healing by now. I'm not sure being with you…like that…would be good for either of us right now."**

**Taking short rapid breaths, Goren desperately processed her words but to him, it was just another inadequate excuse.**

**"What do I have to do, Alex?" he asked urgently. "Drop Chase? I will… I'll give up… She was a…comfort to me."**

**"I thought…Leslie Lezard was gonna be your next…conquest."**

**"Lesl—?" He frowned, set back by another unexpected revelation. "She was playing me…from the start. I…played her back."**

**His fingers gripping her chin smoothed up her jaw, Goren's eyes following their journey. His palm cupped her cheek. Alex was so precious to him, it amazed him that she didn't know it. That she was afraid to be with him.**

**"Eames, you're…seeing problems and…difficulties that aren't there. Imagining—"**

**"Are you callin'_me '_crazy', Bobby?! That's rich, coming from you."**

**Torpedoed again, he snatched his hand away from her face and stumbled back to his side of the car. **

**Knowing him too well, Alex had gone for the jugular.**

**Lights exploded behind his eyes, he doubled up, sick to his gut. Gasping, he heaved open the vehicle door and fell into the passenger seat. **

**Huddling in its corner, he waited for Alex start the motor.**

**oOo**

_**A/N: Sorry, readers, I will sort this girl out. Patience. Patience. In the meantime, you all go and soothe Bobby.**_


	4. Chapter 4

**"Conversations"**

**_Copyright 2008 Penn O'Hara_**

**_T_**

**_Usual disclaimers apply._**

**_LOCI Timeline: During Season Seven, post "Lonelyville"._**

**_MY LOCI Timeline: Post "No Going Back" and "Queen of Spades"._**

**_oOo_**

**_Number Four: Logan's POV_**

**OnePP was subdued. **

**The heat of summer had been doused and New York was cooling in preparation for an icy winter. The crime rate cooled with it, but not for long. Despite Thanksgiving and all the goodwill it entailed, the coming festive season would underline the hopeless and lonely lives of the hapless and crime would escalate again.**

**Logan leaned against his partner's desk, arms folded, ankles crossed as Falacci bemoaned the fact she had to go to her in-laws for Thanksgiving. It was the same every year, she said, and she was already starting to stress.**

**His attention roamed the bullpen, noting the boredom on some detectives' faces, frustration on others. At least he and Falacci had wrapped up the Pugach case. Time for a breather before tackling the older ones still current. A flash of red at the double doors caught his attention and his eyes widened at the sight of the woman entering.**

**Not tall, but sporting high red heels, her dark hair was long and heavy with wave. Her dress matched her shoes and was just as sexy — a soft material that flowed over curves and dipped into hollows. **

**Logan swallowed the lump in his throat, only to have it replaced with another constriction. A long whistle escaped his lips without his even realizing it came from him.**

**She walked right up to him and smiled, her intent written on the classical lines of her face.**

**"If you so much as touch me, Carolyn," Logan warned, "I'll have to clear that desk and have you on it. The last time you kissed me in public, I had to keep my coat closed. I'm not wearing a coat right now—"**

**"You big baby!" Carolyn laughed and walked around him, holding out her hand to Falacci.**

**"I'm Carolyn Barek," she said. "Good to meet you at last."**

**"What she means is…****_owww_****!" Logan hopped in pain after the jarring contact of her shoe made his ankle throb.**

**"You wanted to meet the competition," Falacci nodded. "I do the same every time my husband hires a new secretary."**

**"Pretty ****_and_**** intelligent." Carolyn bent her head in approval. "You certainly pick 'em, don't you, Mike?"**

**"I didn't pick—" He was still rubbing his ankle with his other foot, but he didn't miss the warning look she slid him. "I'll just shut my—"**

**"Actually, I came to take you to the movies." She hurried on at his look of shock. "Yes, the movies. We've never done it before—"**

**"I can manage most back rows—" Another kick, in the shin this time, silenced Logan for good. He threw himself into his chair and glared up at her. It was a mistake though. From this side angle he could see the way the dress fell over her breasts and the slight swell of her stomach. No bra. No panty line. ****_Man_****, his Carolyn was hunting bear tonight. And he fully intended on being her grizzly. He felt his glare dilute into lust.**

**"Mike and I have never ****_been,_****" she emphasized to Falacci, "to the movies together. It's time I tortured him with a chick flick." She slid her attention back to Logan, and he banked his lust, exchanging it for forced innocence. "So, darling," she said sweetly, "how was your day?"**

**_Darling? _****If Logan's eyes widened any more, he swore they'd fall out of his head.**

**"Closed the case," he said triumphantly.**

**"How was it? A bad one?"**

**"You could say it had its moments. I was threatened with a butcher's knife, got to watch a home porno movie, doggie-style, and had an eyeful of Falacci's purple 'Princess' cup. I'm not sure which was the more shocking…"**

**"I've never known porno to shock you before, Mike, so that mug must be somethin'," Carolyn said, frowning at Falacci. "A butcher's knife? I don't like the sound of that."**

**"It's okay, babe. Falacci threw herself between it and me."**

**Carolyn smiled happily. "Good to hear. I like you already… Nola, isn't it?"**

**Falacci nodded. "So? There's no duel at thirty paces? I tried to keep my hands off him...with difficulty…but…" **

**Logan groaned at the tongue in cheek antics of his partner. She didn't know his Carolyn. He watched in horror as Carolyn moved in on the other woman. The smile was gone, her face smooth, but her gaze speared Falacci.**

**"If there's ****_any_**** slip-up of yours with my man," Carolyn's voice was low and deadly, "there'll be no duel with rules and sportsmanship. It'll be in cold blood."**

**Falacci pulled in her chin, her eyes wide as they wavered from Logan back to Carolyn.**

**Logan launched himself from behind his desk, grabbed his coat from the back of his chair and scooped an arm around Carolyn. He ushered her out the door. **

**"See ya, tomorrow, Falacci," he called over his shoulder, and quickened his stride, sweeping Carolyn before him.**

**At the elevator, he jabbed at the call button and stood back to wait for the car, a hand still lightly holding Carolyn's wrist. Just in case.**

**"The guy we were lookin' at... The one that got screwed by our perp…" he said quickly, covering his heavy-handedness in getting her out of there. "Cheated on his wife ****_and _****mistress, managed to get himself picked up by two women in a bar and ****_still_**** thought he was in Lonelyville. That's either brave or stupid."**

**The elevator opened and he guided her in, his mouth still running. "We caught him on video in an elevator. One of the women had him against the wall…" He looked around the car, an idea forming. "OnePP… doesn't have… mounted cameras…" **

**Logan sized up Carolyn standing beside the wall, her expression a little glazed at his non-stop chatter. He recalled she wasn't wearing a bra or panties.**

**"We've never done it in an elevator," he said, a slow smile spreading. **

**Carolyn blinked rapidly, shaking her head. "Miiike…what are you thinking?"**

**Stabbing the heel of his hand on the elevator's stop button, Logan stepped into her, pressing his hip into her waist and palming her head into his shoulder. His heart swelled at the feel of her body against his. Lips seeking the velvet of her ear, he breathed in the scent of her hair. His hands feathered up the hem of her dress, until he found and cupped her hips lovingly. Panting slightly, he touched his lips to hers, then pulled back.**

**"Babe, 'round you, I can't think much. I go all on feel…"**

**oOo**


	5. Chapter 5

**"Conversations"**

**_Copyright 2008 Penn O'Hara_**

**_T_**

**_Usual disclaimers apply._**

**_LOCI Timeline: During Season Seven, post "_****_Depths"._**

**_MY LOCI Timeline: Post "No Going Back" and "Queen of Spades"._****_ Remember, in my AU, Bobby and Alex were briefly lovers._**

**_A/N: _**

**_Firstly_****_ … Thank YOU to my REGULAR reviewers, who have been extremely loyal and trusting and patient — and of course, thank you to ANY and all reviewers. We know you care when you take the time to drop a note._**

**_Secondly, I'm distressing some of the B/A shippers again and for this I apologize, but I bowed under pressure with "Queen of Spades" and I've decided to NOT bow under pressure with "Conversations". I am writing these as I rewatch each episode of Season 7 and in the Goren/Eames' episodes, I am seeing a distinctly tortured and lost soul in Bobby and a confused but still professional persona in Alex, and that will reflect in my writing. _**

**_Remember though, I DO have a plan, I DO have a goal in sight, and I DO love Bobby._****_ A big thank you again to those who trust me._**

**_oOo_**

**_Number _****_Five: Alex' POV_**

**Ship sensations were unique. **

**The breach of water on the hull, the caress of an unchecked damp breeze, the security of being a part of a floating island amid the vastness of its playground. **

**Alex had ****appreciated the ambiance on the way out to the salvage site, but now her only thought was to get to Bobby. In an act of frustration or anger, he had tossed Simon Harper overboard with one deft tug of his left hand.**

**Ross**** hadn't seen the incident, but he saw its aftermath — a spluttering, drenched millionaire who also happened to be their killer. Alex once again went on damage control for Bobby's actions, off-handedly explaining it away to their Captain as an accident. **

**"He slipped."**

**_With a little bit of help from_****_ Bobby._**

**Alex**** watched Bobby take the metal steps to the wheelhouse two at a time, but she climbed them more sedately. He wasn't going anywhere. Not until they reached shore anyway. She watched him come up hard against the railing that enclosed the nine foot square top deck and grip it hard, his shoulders flexing.**

**"Bobby?"**

**"Don't pretend you care!" he snarled, without turning around.**

**"I can't keep making excuses—"**

**"I don't ask you to."**

**"Somebody has to— You didn't have to throw him in." She put out a hand to touch his, but he flinched away. He looked terrible. He hadn't shaved for days, his eyes were bleak as if they stared into the depths of hell every day, and his mouth was lax and trembling.**

**"We gotta talk," she said, trying to keep her voice level ****to disguise her impatience. "I'm takin' you home as soon as we get to port. You need sleep—"**

**He turned his head, his look baleful and disbelieving. "I need…yeah, my needs…I'm thinkin'…you don't give a damn…"**

**"Don't put this on me, Bobby!"**** Alex' neck seized with tension as he added another mile to her guilt trip.**

**"If you take me home, Eames…what're ya gonna do?" He see-sawed his head at her, lip curling.**** "Tuck me into bed, wave a magic wand and sleep's gonna happen for me?" He lifted a hand and waved her away, turning back to lean over the rail. **

**"I…" As a friend, she should put her arm around him and comfort him, but she feared it wouldn't stop there. She wanted to do so much more. Frame his face with her ****hands and smooth away the frown, shut down the pain in his eyes with a touch of her fingers on his lids, stop the quiver on his mouth with her lips…**

**Alex sucked in a breath and stepped back****, fearful of her weakening. It was getting too dangerous to even be close to him. Her resolve was a brittle thing and her love for him stronger than ever.**

**_Damn you, Bobby. What is it you're not telling me?_**

**oOo**

**One couldn't technically call Bobby's apartment a mess, but it ****looked neglected.**

**Books he loved to read were no longer meticulously filed in their bookcases, but strewn on the dining and occasional tables**** and one balanced precariously on the back of the couch. A bed pillow jammed into its corner and a throw-rug bunched at the other end was evidence that Bobby spent time crashing there as well as reading.**

**"No wonder you're not sleeping," Alex said through tight lips.**

**Surprisingly, he**** had put up no resistance when she parked their vehicle at his building and shepherded him up the stairs. Shoulders bowed as he shuffled into his apartment, Bobby had showed little interest in her being there. **

**She watched him now head for the sofa and throw himself upon it with a lack of hesitation that proved he did it most nights.**

**"No, Bobby, you see, you're not gonna just lie on that ****couch until it's time to go to work again." Alex marched toward him. "You're gonna shower. You're gonna eat something that's not take-out," she said, eyeing the food cartons haphazardly emptied on the coffee table in front of a large chair, "and you're gonna tell me what's ****_really _****wrong with you."**

**Dragging him from the ****couch, she pushed him toward the bathroom and turned on the shower, hoping the trigger of the running water would galvanize him into taking one while she checked out the food situation. Not that she was a great cook, but she could rustle up an omelet if the refrigerator had the bare necessities. **

**Her investigation provided a**** carton of five eggs and an assortment of left-over take-outs. The carton of milk wasn't soured, so gave Alex something with which to work. When the omelet was done, she left it warming in the pan, and went in search of Bobby. Finding the bathroom empty, she moved onto the bedroom. **

**The sight of him on the edge of the bed, hunched over his knees and studying his hands, tore at her heart. **

**He looked…lost.**

**"Bobby…" **

**He didn't look up so she went ****and sat beside him on the single bed. He never told her ****_why_**** it was a single, but during the brief time they were lovers, its narrowness kept her cocooned at his side, protected.**

**The heat f****rom his bare torso radiated toward and enveloped her. Her breathing shallowing, she dared to put her hand on his thigh, where more heat burned through the cotton of his pajama bottoms. **

**"How hot did you turn up that shower, Bobby?****" she asked, appalled. "Your skin is scorched." **

**She placed her palm on his shoulder and he groaned. **

**"****_Don't!..._****touch me."**

**Alex pulled back as if burned. "I made you something to ****eat. It's ready."**

**"I'll eat it later. You can go." He still hadn't looked at her, his profile fixed on some point on the wall opposite him. **

**Alex hissed exasperation through her teeth and pushed herself from the bed. "I'll go, but…" **

**Stopping at the bedroom doorway, she looked back at Bobby, forgetting what she had been about to say. Her senses still attuned to him, she gazed at the massive shoulders, his skin smooth and still reddened from the hot shower, the strong neck and wet head covered with the tight curls of a Greek god, his long tapered hands that could be expressive, gentle or skilful…**

**_Damn him!_**

**She took a deep breath. ****"They say misery likes company. Your brand of it just wants to self-destruct."**

**She turned but was captured and hauled up against his body****. He'd moved at an amazing speed. He spun her around, and she gasped as her face was pressed into his chest. Arms wrapped around her back held her fast. Her mouth tasted his damp skin, and soft pants escaped as her lips moved amongst the fine hair. Fingers lifted her chin and Alex' knees collapsed at the touch of Bobby's mouth on hers. His lips frantic, covering her face with rapid consuming kisses, Alex shivered from the caress of a beard that had grown soft with length. **

**His mouth back on hers drew the heart and strength from her, so that she clung to his waist, head reeling. Gulping in air when she could, she was more intent on devouring what skin she could reach.**

**Her feet swung from underneath her as he scooped her up and**** carried her to the bed. Lying back on it with her on top, Bobby drew her face to his with both hands, murmuring unintelligible words that sounded tortured and desperate. Alex' body hummed at the feel of his beneath her. She squirmed against him enjoying his strength and the urgent way he responded to her and planted feeding kisses on his neck and chest, keening softly at the touch of his hands underneath her shirt.**

**"Please, Alex," he gasped. "Don't say… no. Don't…deny me."**

**She had no will left to deny him, her responses love-driven and selfless. **

**"I…won't say no, Bobby, but…I can't… let it happen again."**

**His body stilled beneath her.**

**Erupting**** from the bed with a bellow, he thrust her from him to loom over her, disbelief distorting his face. **

**"You're not serious!"**** he yelled hoarsely.**

**Alex****' heart, already racing from his kisses, lurched in anguish at his look of betrayal.**

**She had to be honest with herself and with him, but ****the agony shaking his body made her wish she could take back the words.**

**"You said… you loved me…"**** he gasped.**

**"I do!"**

**"And it sure as hell felt like you… wanted me just then."**

**"I…" Her eyes dropped, unable to deny it. "I…do…"**

**"So…you…" He waved a hand between himself and her still splayed on the bed. "…want…this…"**

**"Yesss!"**

**She ****couldn't move, mesmerized by the sight of his standing there, chest heaving, hands clenching. His eyes, as they roamed her, were alive with something she didn't recognize. **

**Bobby seemed poised at a point that was alien to both of them.**

**"I'll take what I can get,****" he finally said, and lunged for her.**

**oOo**

**_And now I think I'd better go in_****_to hiatus for a while and hide to avoid the flak I'm gonna get after allowing Bobby's tortured soul and Alex' confused and torn one to react this way._**


	6. Chapter 6

**"Conversations"**

**_Copyright 2008 Penn O'Hara_**

**_T_**

**_Usual disclaimers apply._**

**_LOCI Timeline: During Season Seven, during-ep "Courtship"._**

**_MY LOCI Timeline: Post "No Going Back" and "Queen of Spades"._**

**_oOo_**

**_Number Six: Carolyn's POV_**

**"I'm yours. Whenever — ****_however_**** — you want me."**

**The female voice, urgent with longing, came from their bedroom and Carolyn's hackles rose with her temper. If Mike had heard her enter their apartment, he wasn't doing anything about containing the woman or hiding her presence.**

**Teeth bared, Carolyn dropped her bag and stormed the room. Anger swept away any sense of betrayal she might have felt, intent only on ripping the other woman to shreds and tongue-lashing Mike to within an inch of his life.**

**"You…****_bastard!_****" she screamed.**

**She halted in the doorway. **

**Mike had been fully dressed and stretched out on the bed, his shoulders supported by her pillows. His gaze was centred on the TV in the wall unit opposite, his arms behind him and head resting on his palms. **

**At her scream, he jumped, arms flying wide, mouth open in shock. Scrambling off the bed, he stood, legs braced, arms on the defensive, looking for the source of an attack.**

**"I…um…I thought… someone was with you," Carolyn said meekly, stroking wayward strands of hair from her face and moving further into the room.**

**"_What were you gonna do?"_**** he asked, his voice rising decibels. **

**"Tear her heart out," Carolyn said calmly, her heart settling as the adrenalin dissipated. She pulled the pins from her hair and tossed them onto the dresser. "Then I was gonna do the same to you."**

**"****_Geezus_****. Remind me never to bring a woman home."**

**She tossed a look at his poor joke and pulled a face. "What are you watching?"**

**He approached her warily. "****_Carolina Heat._**** The actor who plays the lead…" He jabbed a finger toward the TV screen. "…She's a suspect in the investigation we've got going. She's been doin' a courtship dance around ****_all _****of our suspects. We don't know ****_who_**** to look at."**

**"Well, I'm gonna have a shower. Join me?"**

**"Wait! The wet T-shirt scene's comin' up."**

**Carolyn's mouth dropped, indignant he would pass up the real thing. "And that's what ****_you're _****waitin' for?"**

**He waved her over to the bed, settling himself on it again. "No, I'm interested in her trademark. I caught her doin' somethin' in an interrogation. I wanted to make sure…" He pulled Carolyn into the crook of his arm, and she snuggled against him. **

**"Women in wet T-shirts don't—" she began.**

**"There it is!" he said, jarring her shoulder as he pointed to the screen. "She makes her own tears." Carolyn saw the actress wet her fingertips with her tongue then unobtrusively wipe the moisture across her cheek. **

**"She coached her boy to do the same." Mike hit the 'off' button on the remote and cradled Carolyn against him, nodding with satisfaction. "I know who the shooter is."**

**Carolyn gawked at the blank TV screen and then up at Mike in surprise. "What about the wet T-shirt?"**

**He gazed down at her, grin wide. "Now, why would I wanna look at some woman on TV when I've got the real thing right here." He started popping the buttons on her shirt and she didn't try to stop him.**

**Carolyn dropped her head back on his shoulder, her mouth inviting his kiss. "Ya know, that's exactly what ****_I _****was thinking."**

**oOo**


	7. Chapter 7

**"Conversations"**

**_Copyright 2008 Penn O'Hara_**

**_T_**

**_Usual disclaimers apply._**

**_LOCI Timeline: During Season Seven, _****_during-ep "Self-Made"._**

**_MY LOCI Timeline: Post "No Going Back" and "Queen of Spades"._**

**_oOo_**

**_Number _****_Seven: Bobby's POV_**

**Mentors and protégées. Ground familiar enough to give Goren an edge.**

**S****winging past the punching bag, he headed for the gym exit. TJ Hawkins' tell of turning his back on them added another facet to Goren's perspective on the case, but he enjoyed more, Eames' look of tolerant exasperation at his baiting of the man. **

**That was how it used to be. His dancing around the perps, pricking at their hides, ****at his most outrageous with Alex as his audience, and she watching his antics with exasperated amusement. It was Goren's tease of her, like a small boy pulling a pretty girl's ponytail. A comfort zone for them both that they had found again.**

**Goren's**** step was lighter, his world a little more centered, since the night she had stayed with him. He recognized her 'it won't happen again' as a statement of fact, not a threat, but he also had his confidence in himself strengthened to the point where he wasn't going to give up.**

**She'd acknowledged his renewed attention to his grooming with a slide of her gaze to his clean-shaven cheeks and chin and a pleased lift of her mouth. He soon wiped away that smile with his heavy-handedness with Lionel Shill and challenging TJ but Goren ****_was _****trying hard to rein himself in to ease her concerns over his stability. He was prepared to give her whatever she wanted for her to feel comfortable with him again.**

**_Anything_**** to avoid telling her about his fears over Brady.**

**"What if he'd called your bluff, Bobby?" Alex asked, chin in the air as she caught up with him.**

**Goren saw through her frown, saw the humor lurking there.**

**"****Put you flat on your back?" she persisted.**

**"I would let you… comfort me." He bobbed his head, hoping he'd get away with his audacity.**

**"Yeah, right." Her smile broke through at last, and Goren felt his shoulders lift a little more.**

**He swung around her, crossing her path. "We're doing good, Eames. It's gonna be okay?"**

**"Bobby… I know what you're hopin' for." She stopped, her smile disappearing, making him sorry he'd said anything. "I meant what I said."**

**"I hear you, Alex. But then… I know…how you feel…too."**

**Alex gave that hair flick that signaled she was about to say something that needed to be heard. ****"I see you're tryin', Bobby, but even well-intentioned efforts don't last. I had experience."**

**"T****hen it won't last," he said glibly, not believing it. "But while…it does…?"**

**She started**** walking again, but tossed a look over her shoulder at him. "Just watch who you pick fights with." **

**Bobby nodded happily, sensing her weakening.**** He caught up as she stepped through the gym doors and shielded her eyes from the glare of a stronger than usual afternoon sun. **

**"D****inner. Tonight. My treat," he puffed.**

**Alex studied the pedestrians that ****avoided colliding with them with barely suppressed irritation. Sighing, she tipped her head to the side. "Dinner. Tonight. Dutch."**

**Goren bit his lip over his ****instinctive argument, quelling a jig of joy. "You're a determined woman, Eames."**

**"Nope. Self-made survivalist."**

**oOo**

**Scenting the kill g****ave Goren the familiar and powerful rush of adrenalin that accompanied all of his confrontations with his quarry. He had Shill, now he had to manipulate him into the corner where perps could never extricate themselves, where they were barraged by Goren's inarguable discoveries until their minds spun in neutral and their mouths jumped out of gear. **

**It was his favo****rite part of the case — when he was about to let the killer know he knew all. Slowly, surely, relentlessly.**

**His brain at its sharpest, Goren's senses keened to the point where he was even more aware of Alex. Not only having his back, her instincts were such that she could follow any lead he tossed. Her footsteps behind him were an echo of his determination and assurance as they entered Shill's salon and saw the man at ease in an armchair, holding court over his young literary protégées. **

**TJ had his back to them, unsuspecting, cocooned in false confidence that his mentor would protect him. Goren's peripheral vision picked up Eames stopping behind and to his left, ready with her return to any volley.**

**His opponent before him, Goren was more than ready. **

**H****e was back.**

**oOo**


	8. Chapter 8

**"Conversations"**

**_Copyright 2008 Penn O'Hara_**

**_T_**

**_Usual disclaimers apply._**

**_LOCI Timeline: During Season Seven, during-ep "Offense"._**

**_MY LOCI Timeline: Post "No Going Back" and "Queen of Spades"._**

**_oOo_**

**_Number Eight: Logan's POV_**

**Too many times to count, his job had taken him into the raw, raunchy world of strip joints.**

**Logan considered how different things were since his days at the two-seven. Then, he and Lennie would visit the ****_Catwalk_**** during a case and appreciate the view while getting the job done. Even when he and Silvera from the one-two-eight visited the club, Logan indulged in a little hands-on with a lap dancer under Silvera's tolerating eye.**

**But Falacci shut him down before he got a chance to refuse the manager's offer of 'anything on the house', giving the impression she was bossy as well as all-guns-blazing. Holing him up at the far end of the bar while they waited for the club's bookkeeper, she ordered coffees for both of them.**

**Logan's cell rang and he dragged it out of his pocket, his interest quickening when he saw Carolyn's I.D. **

**"Hey hon, where are you?" she asked. His spirit lifted at the warmth and eagerness in her greeting. She was in a good mood. Probably had something to do with Bradshaw moving on and being replaced by Ken Moran, except Logan knew he couldn't work with either men.**

**Opening his mouth to answer, he hesitated. A glib 'in a strip club' was not conducive to keeping her in a good mood.**

**"I…ah…"**

**"I got the afternoon off," she went on, not noticing his wavering. "Moran's more human than Bradshaw. I was hoping we could have lunch together. You handy?"**

**The club was about eight blocks away from her office. He could find his way there when they were done here, but he didn't like his chances of Falacci letting him off for the rest of the day.**

**"I can make it," he said. "Don't know how long for. Another fifteen minutes here, then I can pick you up."**

**"Don't bother. Where are you? I can leave soon and head that way while you're finishing up."**

**Feeling the pressure, Logan tried to slide out. "I…ah…It's no trouble to meet you half-way.."**

**"****_Mike._****"**

**He was done for. He could only bluff Carolyn so far. "Falacci dragged me in here," he rushed. "Honest. It was her lead. I didn't wanna come." He turned his back on Falacci's look of confused indignation.**

**"****_Where are you, Mike?_****"**

**There was nothing for it but to come clean. "At the ****_Vikuna Club._****"**

**A long pause at the other end made Logan fidget on his seat. **

**"That's a strip joint, Mike."**

**"I know." He winced, waiting for the explosion.**

**Laughter resounded across their connection, throwing him off-guard. **

**"You're dyin' a thousand deaths there, aren't you, Mike? I can hear it in your voice. You think I'm gonna have your balls for being there." She laughed again, and he grinned, confused but relieved. "It's your job, Mike. You don't have to justify yourself."**

**Logan expelled the breath he'd been holding. **

**_Survived that one._**

**"Hey, that offer still stands," Carolyn assured him. "I can meet you there. I know where it is. What food's on the menu board?"**

**Logan looked up at the sign above the bar, his mouth twisting at the limited selection. Carolyn liked variety and she liked Continental. "Hope you go for steak sandwich."**

**"Hey, I'd rather have a steak sandwich with you than a five course meal with my old boss, Bradshaw."**

**"That's not saying much," he grimaced, prompting more laughter.**

**"See you in…fifteen…"**

**oOo**

**Falacci left as soon as they finished with the bookkeeper, and Logan moved out of the corner of the bar to the front of the club, at a discreet distance from the pole-dancers and where he could see Carolyn as soon as she entered the premises.**

**She made it in twelve, and hadn't even hurried, judging by the way her cool professionalism cloaked her as she walked through the door. She saw him immediately and waved, hurrying her steps.**

**Giving him an appreciative inspection where he sat at an empty table, she leaned forward and looked him in the eye. "We might be in public, but you've got your coat on, so…" She closed the distance and kissed him soundly, filling his senses with the smell, feel and touch of her. Logan closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair to enjoy the moment. He was on lunch, after all.**

**Finally stepping back, Carolyn looked around, frowning. "Where's Falacci?"**

**"Back at the office. Good thing. She didn't need to see that."**

**Carolyn was studying one of the pole-dancers across the room, then her frown cleared. Bending down, she grabbed his hand and coaxed him out of the chair.**

**"Let's get closer to the entertainment," she said.**

**Logan's brows rose in confusion as she dragged him through the tables and chose a couple of high-backed stools in front of the dancers' catwalk. The pole closest to them had a red-head energetically swinging around it.**

**"Hey, that one looks like Falacci," Logan crowed, imagining the look on his partner's face if she found out.**

**Her lips pressed in annoyance, Carolyn pulled him off the stool and headed down toward the end of the catwalk. She took the last two stools and Logan checked out the dancer commanding this space. She was tall and well-muscled and had dark thick waving hair like Carolyn's, her movements around the pole controlled and sinuous.**

**"This one looks like you…kinda…" Logan ventured, not sure if it was the right thing to say.**

**It was. Carolyn nodded in approval and took off her coat, throwing it over the back of the stool before reaching behind her head and shaking her hair loose from its pins.**

**"Good, now I want you to watch her—"**

**"_You want me to what?!"_**

**"Watch her," Carolyn said with an exasperated sigh. "Think you can manage that, Mikey?"**

**He was sure his eyes were bugging out. "Um, you sure…?"**

**"I'm sure." Carolyn coaxed his coat from his shoulders and loosened his tie. Logan rolled his chin, enjoying the freedom, then enjoyed the feeling of Carolyn's lips against his neck more. **

**He shut his eyes in bliss.**

**"Watch the dancer," Carolyn ordered, undoing the top buttons of his shirt. Logan's eyes snapped open. Carolyn's mouth was in the hollow of his throat now, her tongue teasing his skin with a cooling trail. He obediently fixed his attention on the pole-dancer but his eyes glazed over as Carolyn started nipping his chin. **

**Feeling her hand find his hip then move across, caressing him, Logan hissed in a breath as his body jerked into her palm in response. **

**"This is exciting you, Mikey?" Carolyn purred, her mouth following an erotic path to the edge of his open shirt. "You like me doin' things to you while you watch another woman?"**

**_Excited_****? He was busting out of his skin, but he didn't have the heart to spoil Carolyn's little game by telling her that the woman on the pole did nothing for him. Logan preferred petite, the soft curves of an hour-glass figure and a temper that kept him on his toes. **

**And he loved it that she was thinking outside of the box. **

**He taught his sweet Carolyn well.**

**oOo**

**_A/N: I'm sorry, but whenever I think of Mikey, all I can think of is sex romps, so this is what he gets. With Bobby, all I can think of is torture and angst. Poor Bobby._**


	9. Chapter 9

**"Conversations"**

**_Copyright 2008 Penn O'Hara_**

**_T_**

**_Usual disclaimers apply._**

**_LOCI Timeline: During Season Seven, during-ep "Untethered"._**

**_MY LOCI Timeline: Post "No Going Back" and "Queen of Spades"._**

**_oOo_**

**_Number Nine: Alex' POV_**

**Blue jeans would always be a portent of tragedy for Alex.**

**Joe and she had a fight about them the day he died. She bought a new pair that were comfortable and sassy and she wanted to wear them to work that day. Joe had frowned over her frivolity, arguing their suitability until she finally gave in and wore her usual trousers.**

**When Alex saw Bobby shuffle into OnePP that morning dressed in a suit coat and a pair of blue jeans, the breath was knocked out of her in a heart-stopping rush. **

**She and Bobby hadn't argued, but their parting last night had been frustrating. For both of them.**

**Joe was taken from her with a disagreement still between them. She sent Bobby home to his own bed last night and he had come to work today late and in blue jeans and Alex experienced the same sense of disaster she'd felt when she saw the solemn looks on the two officers bearing the news of Joe's death.**

**"Rogers called," Alex said, her lips tight. "She's finished with Jay Lowry," **

**Bobby merely nodded and headed out again, leaving Alex to follow. She felt her temper simmer, then concern washed over as she noted the dejected slump to his shoulders.**

**Catching up, she resisted the urge to touch him. "What's up, Bobby?"**

**He let her precede him into the elevator, his hands clenching as they waited for the doors to close. "I…I don't know. Donny. Have I done enough? To help… can I trust Frank?… To even lay claim to a son, much less… look out for one."**

**Alex let out a guilty sigh. Instead of dwelling on her continuing to keep him at arm's length as Alex feared, Bobby was stressing over his nephew. It didn't ease her culpability but it did allow her to relax slightly and extend her support.**

**"I doubt if Frank will give you much resistance if you wanted keep an eye on Donny," she offered.**

**Bobby nodded. "I'll do that."**

**The elevator pinged open at the basement garage and, checking they were alone, Alex took a deep breath, wanting to explain, to keep things okay with them.**

**"About last night, Bobby—"**

**He held up a hand. "You were right… to kick me out. I don't wanna put you in a position where… you're uncomfortable." He lumbered toward their SUV. "You made your position clear. I … I accept that."**

**Walking beside him, Alex anxiously tucked her hair behind an ear. "I know. But you're making it harder for me… to resist."**

**Bobby froze with his hand on the SUV's door. "Don't. Alex... not now." He pulled open the door and settled into the passenger seat, eyes straight ahead. **

**Alex took the driver's side, her hand on the ignition, but holding off turning the key. "I'm trying to—"**

**"Don't ask me to pull back!" His vehemence made her jump. "I need you. What little.. whatever… you can give me…"**

**Bobby sounded so close to begging that Alex felt tears prick her eyes to see him so demean himself.**

**"Don't sell yourself short," she gulped. "You deserve more."**

**Shaking his head violently, Bobby grabbed the dash in front of him with both hands, his knuckles white. "I'm not giving up on us. Don't ask me."**

**Alex expelled her breath in a rush. "Okay, Bobby. Okay. Let's concentrate on Donny then." **

**oOo**

**But a chasm opened between them; widening, threatening, terrifying.**

**Once the M.E. verified Jay's death had been by severe dehydration and possible malpractice, Bobby embarked on a course that sent him sliding away from her. **

**Finding Donny gone from OnePP's holding cells, Bobby exploded, taking his frustration out on Ross. Eames tried to calm the waters between them but Ross had demanded Bobby follow him into his office. **

**Helpless, Alex stood and waited In the middle of the bullpen, her legs apart, hands at her side, clenching and unclenching, preparing for the worst. **

**"I'm on… sick leave," Bobby said, finally emerging and shuffling past her to stow his gun in the locker. "He gives me a… rubber gun." **

**He started to walk away, then stopped, turned, and slapped his phone on his desk, then left without a word.**

**Alex watched him go, knowing if she let him leave like this, it would be over for them. Not only emotionally, but professionally. No longer could she separate the two. The ground had shifted, her separate paths converging as one at last.**

**She ran after him.**

**oOo**

**His blue jeans lay on the floor in a heap beside the bed. **

**At the first chance, Alex would get rid of them. Destroy them. Burn them.**

**No longer would blue jeans herald disaster.**

**"You're going to do this alone, aren't you?" she asked.**

**Pushing herself from his chest, she looked down at his beloved face. Reaching out, she stroked the eyebrows above his tired eyes. She bent to kiss them shut. At least she had managed to wipe the frown from his brow.**

**"Not alone," he said, his gaze fixed on the ceiling above. "I'll call you. At a set time. Each time."**

**"If I don't hear, I send in the cavalry."**

**"You'll be lookin' for Brady. William Brady."**

**She nodded. "Got it."**

**"How'd ya know?" he asked, breaking his concentrated stare at the ceiling long enough to sweep his eyes over her face. **

**She frowned. "Know what?"**

**"More than anything else… I needed this. To be with you. Like this."**

**Alex smiled in wonder that he didn't realize. "I didn't do this for you, Bobby. I did it for ****_me_****. You walking out like that…" **

**She shivered as she remembered how the distance yawed between them as he walked away. How his disillusioned footsteps had finally untethered her love, freed it to fly in the face of convention, muddied her self-inflicted rules and disbanded the emotional limitations she created.**

**"No, you won't be alone," she said, realizing the simple truth at last. "Not ever again." **

**Relaxing against his chest again, Alex placed her lips above his heart. "Why 'William Brady'?"**

**His heart jolted under her, skipped, stopped and started again.**

**He was still hiding something from her.**

**Ignoring the grab at her own breath, Alex closed her eyes and pretended that a new crack hadn't just appeared.**

**oOo**


	10. Chapter 10

**"Conversations"**

**_Copyright 2008 Penn O'Hara_**

**_T_**

**_Usual disclaimers apply._**

**_LOCI Timeline: During Season Seven, _****_post-ep "Senseless"._**

**_MY LOCI Timeline: Post "No Going Back" and "Queen of Spades"._**

**_oOo_**

**_Number _****_Ten: Logan's POV_**

**"_We're sorry for your loss…"_**

**Rain streamed down the ****outside of the tavern's windows, rivulets catching on the wooden frames, pooling, then overflowing to pour erratically down the next pane. The lights from the street outside blurred then sharpened where the city grime on the glass managed to repel the drizzle.**

**No ethereal figure in white hovered within Logan's vision, but he felt her presence ****briefly, adding another layer to his grief. **

**Soaking up the ****familiarity of the sounds, sights and smells of PJ's, Logan tried desperately to cleanse himself of this case before going home to Carolyn. The subdued chatter of patrons and clink of glasses, the scuffed wood of the bar, polished clear of its original varnish, and the redolent odor of hops made him think poignantly of Lennie Briscoe. In Lennie's day, this bar had the added ambience of stale smoke and ribald jokes of a less discerning clientele.**

**Lennie.**

**_This one got to me too, Lennie._**

**That's two in as many months. He was losing his tough hide, attributing it to a combination of loss of youthful exuberance and his succumbing finally to opening his heart to another.**

**The bartender**** rapped a bottle of scotch against the side of Logan's glass and started to pour another shot.**

**Logan held up a hand in protest, wanting to be sober when he went home to Carolyn.**

**Pete**** kept pouring with a jerk of his head down the length of the bar. "Compliments of the lady," he said.**

**A****voiding looking toward her, Logan cringed. The last thing he wanted right now was to dredge up the tact to discourage an unattached woman's advances.**

**"Pete, give my apologies, will ya?"**

**"S****ure thing." The bartender moved away but left the scotch.**

**Logan scrubbed at his face, trying to wipe away the sight of the despair in the droop of Naomi's parents' shoulders, the way they huddled on the bench in the hospital, the numb shock in their eyes after learning their second child was dead. Logan had suffered with them, his satisfaction from bringing the perp to justice wiped out by the news that Naomi hadn't survived the second operation.**

**"I got a message," Pete said, returning with a patient grin on his face. "Let's see if I get it right. 'You're the best lookin' thing in the bar even if you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.' I think that was it," Pete nodded. "Oh… and she's not giving up."**

**Logan sighed, rolling his neck to loosen the grab of a nerve. He looked down the bar to deliver the message himself.**

**The firm rebuke on his lips evaporated.**

**"Carolyn…"**

**The intensity of emotion he used to say her name shocked Logan. ****Even knowing how far he'd progressed from his meaningless flings with women since partnering with her, the depth of his feelings still surprised him. **

**Carolyn ****pushed herself from her bar stool and moved gracefully toward him, a sympathetic smile softening her lips.**

**"Hey, hon." Standing beside him, she seemed to be waiting. A hesitant communication she would leave him alone if that's what he wanted or join him if he needed her.**

**He put out a hand to touch her hair, the thick waves glistening with moisture from the rain. His fingertips registered cool, damp silk, then pushed through its heaviness to seek the ****velvet of her cheek.**

**"How'd ya**** know?" he asked, warmed within by her intuitiveness.**

**"Pete called me. I gave him my number…before you moved in. Just in case. He kept it." She cradled her cheek in his hand, then turned her lips into his palm. "Another bad one?"**

**"Yeah." His skin tingled from the caress of her mouth. Without moving, his body strained to get closer. "The worst kind. A senseless crime on kids."**

**"I can go or stay, Mike. Just say the word."**

**Logan**** widened his eyes at, and to, the perfection of this woman. Perfect for him. **

**Reaching out ****for her, he pulled her close. Into his arms, into his heart, into the fibre of him. Drawing warmth from her body, strength from her compassion, and sanity from her normalcy, he finally understood what Liz Olivet had told him. **

**_A support system. Everyone needs one._**

**"I love you," ****Logan said simply but never so honestly.**

**oOo**

**_I'm sorry I've run out of episodes_****_. There is no more. :-( _**

**_Thank you to all the readers who bothered with my scribblings and especially thanks to those that let me know they enjoyed them._**


	11. Chapter 11

WIP

**"Conversations"**

**_Copyright 2008 Penn O'Hara_**

**_T_**

**_Usual disclaimers apply._**

**_A/N: You ripper! Australia is finally getting the last eppies of Season Seven!! I realise "Purgatory" has probably been done to death by now, but I just have to finish my "Conversations" series. _**

**_LOCI Timeline: During Season Seven, post-ep "Purgatory"._**

**_MY LOCI Timeline: Post "No Going Back" and "Queen of Spades"._**

**_oOo_**

**_Number Eleven: Bobby's POV_**

**oOo**

**The kick in the gut would have been no less painful, had it been physical, rather than emotional, as Goren watched her walk away. **

**The fleeting joy of having his badge returned to him was shattered minutes later by Eames' impersonal rejoinder to his hopeful "See ya tomorrow?" as she grabbed her bag and left him. Goren blinked back his shock and his instinctive sense of betrayal, not ready to concede he deserved her coolness. **

**Hell! He ****_didn't _**** deserve it. **

**He was only thinking of her when he kept her at arms' length while he went undercover against Stoat. After involving her in his infiltration into Tates, he vowed to never again taint her with his actions but she failed to appreciate his motive for not informing her. Aiming a gun at her during the final bust had cost him dearly, but not nearly as much as being on the receiving end of her distraught accusations.**

**_All of your wounds are self-inflicted!_**

**His stomach churned at her harshness.**

**_I hope it was worth it._**

**With her casual dismissal of him, their tenuous relationship had taken another nose-dive.**

**Shutting his mind to the alarming possibility, he shuffled together the papers and files left loose on his desk, and dragged out his drawer, seeking at least to return order to his desk if not his life.**

**His gut took another plunge at the sight of the stiff carcass of a rat at the bottom of the drawer. Forcing a composure he didn't feel, he scanned the squad room, for some evidence that this was a joke, a set-up, from another detective. No one was laughing, none was watching him, eager for his reaction. The room was oblivious to the cruelty of the jab at his already dented confidence.**

**He stared again at the carcass and suddenly it didn't matter — Stoat's condemnation of his deception, Copa blaming him for his loss of career, nor any of his colleagues' motivation for planting the dead rat in his drawer. **

**All that concerned him was Alex' indifference cooling upon her hurt accusations.**

**Goren pushed back his chair and lumbered for the bullpen's exit.**

**oOo**

**His knuckles sore from knocking, Goren pressed his forehead against Eames' front door, only now acceding that she might not let him in, let alone forgive him for shutting her out of his decisions.**

**"Alex?" His plea was soft and plaintive, without hope but he refused to give up. "Alex…" Eyes shut tight against her rejection, he turned his head from side to side in anguish.**

**"****_Alexxx…"_**

**He stumbled as the door suddenly gave way, opening inward onto a bristling, spark-eyed Eames.**

**"_Damn you, Bobby!" _****she seethed. "Go home!"**

**"I…****_am_****…home." He blinked burning eyes against the glare of her hall light, pushing past her, unwilling to give her the opportunity of denying his entry.**

**"No, you're not! You have no place here…no business…in….shutting me out and then expecting me…to let you in again! I'm tired of it…"**

**Pushing back his shoulders, Goren held out a hand, his pride holding out the olive leaf. "I'm s….sorry. Sorry for everything. Everything I've said or not said. I can't…"**

**"Didn't you hear me, Bobby?" Her voice was strident with distress and his spirit curled within itself that he was somehow responsible. "Weren't you listening? Do you want me to spell it out for you?"**

**Mouth dry, heart stricken, Goren grasped for the words she wanted to hear. It wasn't so much her words, but the conviction with which they were said. But he was feeling bull-headed enough to disregard the warning. He had nothing to lose that he hadn't lost already.**

**He grasped her shoulders, his hands trembling from terror that he had destroyed what chance he had with her.**

**"I…I love you…" he implored. "I only wanted to…"**

**Rigid beneath his palms, she threw back her head, eyes closed, denying him the opportunity to show her he was hurting too. "I can't take the chance on you, Bobby. Not again. If you can't trust me—"**

**"I never—" He felt tears prick the back of his eyes but he did nothing to prevent their welling and spilling over. He was past pride, past caring, only seeking to convince Alex nothing was more important than holding onto her friendship, her trust, her love. "Look at me, Alex! I have no defences left."**

**Alex' eyes opened and misted over. Her mouth trembled, and her head bent in defeat.**

**"Bobby…don't…"**

**Sensing her weakening, Goren gently pulled her to him. His lips in her hair, he murmured her name over and over.**

**"Alex…I gotta…" he tried to explain, putting the wealth of his love into the inadequacy of his words.**

**"I gotta too…" she cried, pulling his head to hers. **

**His lips found hers, fumbling, too eager, unable to disguise his fear of losing her. His mother's passing had been inevitable, his brother's fall from grace expected. Even his nephew's disappearance had alarmed and confused Goren, but Alex…Alex was his only island, his port in the storm, the constant in his life. **

**His thumbs brushed her cheeks, caressing, then arrested at the wetness on her skin.**

**Horrified that he was the cause of her tears, he pulled back, dropping his head into his chest. "I'm so…sorry I hurt you."**

**She gasped, and Bobby felt her withdrawal in the freeze in the air between them. **

**"I'm not crying for me, Bobby! I'm crying for ****_you_****. For what you've become. For being in your own private little purgatory where I can't…****_won't_****…join you."**

**He flinched, squeezing his eyes shut over another rejection. Even ****_she_**** was determined to rip his equilibrium from under him.**

**"I don't…deserve this. What have I done?"**

**Shaking her head, Eames stepped back from him, eyes wide with disbelief. "You don't know, do you? You have no idea what love is…means…the sacrifices—"**

**"I know that I want you—" **

**"It's not enough to want! You have to give up everything you were and open yourself up to who you can become. If you haven't recognized that's what I've done for you, then—" Alex threw her hands wide and turned away, dashing the heel of her palm across her face. "You'd better go, Bobby. I got things to do right now, and they don't include arguing with you."**

**Goren held out a hand. It hovered in the air between them, tentative and appealing. "Alex…"**

**"Go!" She flung the word over her shoulder and paced down the hall, leaving him flat-footed at the door. He half-turned toward it, even reached out to grab it to pull it behind him as he left, but his muscles bunched, his knuckles whitened on the wood, then his hand shoved it shut with a thud that shook the walls.**

**"****_No!_****"**

**He strode after her, reaching her half-way across her living room. He scooped her from her feet, swung round, and collapsed onto the couch, bringing her down with him on his lap as he folded her against his chest.**

**Her struggle against him was feeble. He gritted his teeth, his face pinched in anguish, shushing her protests.**

**"I wanna try…" he mumbled above her head, "…to learn…you gotta help me…no one else can…" Her body was shaking against his and he absorbed her spasms into him, owning her agony as his own. "You spoke of sacrifices…I gotta ask you for one more. Give me another chance…us…another chance."**

**She shook her head under his chin and he used a gentle hand to still her.**

**"Don't give up on me, Alex. I beg—"**

**With a strangled groan, she threw her arms around him, and hugged him fiercely to her.**

**"Damn you, Bobby! Damn you to hell!"**

**He allowed a half-smile. "I'm already there, remember? And there's only one way out, Alex. And that's…up."**

**She hiccuped a laugh. "With you, it's gonna be a long haul."**

**Tenderly tilting her chin with his fingers, he gazed into her tear-stained, resigned face. He kissed one wet eyelid, then the other, then made a project of collecting every other tear from her skin. With each caress, she relaxed against him more, her body melting into him, her breathing matching his. **

**As his mouth found hers, he vowed to try harder, to be what she needed, to give what she craved, to learn to love no less than she deserved.**

**oOo**

**_Logan's "Contract" up next. Has anyone noticed how Chris Noth is looking better with age? What are they feeding him?_**


	12. Chapter 12

WIP

**"Conversations"**

**_Copyright 2008 Penn O'Hara_**

**_T_**

**_Usual disclaimers apply._**

**_LOCI Timeline: During Season Seven, during and post-ep "Contract"._**

**_MY LOCI Timeline: Post "No Going Back" and "Queen of Spades"._**

**_oOo_**

**_Number Twelve: Carolyn's POV_**

**oOo**

**_During ep…_**

**For the third night in a row, Mike beat her home.**

**Lounging on the couch, arms folded across his chest, he was listening to a Toni Childs CD as she let herself into their apartment. Checking him out while she hung her coat, Carolyn liked what she saw. In brown sweats and a black t-shirt, he was looking better than ever — less stressed, more relaxed, less haggard. **

**In fact, Mike Logan looked damned good.**

**"Hey, hon…" she called to him, a satisfied smile on her face. Satisfied that he was hers and she intended to keep it that way.**

**He flapped a hand at her. "Hey, babe."**

**"You're early…****_again._****"**

**"Nothin' to keep me at the precinct. Plenty to look forward to here." He grinned at her as he watched her release the top button of her blouse. "Don't stop there."**

**Carolyn pulled a face at him, but couldn't prevent its sliding into a pleased smile.**

**"How's Megan?" she asked, ignoring the lascivious look in his eye. "Glad to have her back?"**

**He nodded complacently. "Engaged. And yeah, she's good. Falacci was good too. Guess I bring out the best in women."**

**"Is that so?" Carolyn agreed, but she wasn't going to tell him so. "Engaged? When did she find the time to get a guy to propose to her?"**

**He shrugged, losing interest in Megan as he held out a hand to Carolyn. "Guess you'll hear all about it when you see her next."**

**She accepted his invitation and joined him on the couch, snuggling into his side to nuzzle his neck. "Engaged has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" **

**"Happens to the best of 'em."**

**Carolyn looked for some glimmer of consideration from him, but found none in his deliberately bland face. "But not you," she prompted.**

**"I ain't goin' there," he said firmly, then lessened the blow with a thorough kiss. **

**Carolyn sighed, resigned to the battle she had been unable to win, then inhaled deeper, discovering the cologne on his skin was intoxicating. "What are you wearin'? You smell good enough to eat."**

**"Somethin' Wheeler got me from overseas. Shower stuff. Just used it. You like?" **

**He stretched his neck to give her easier access, but Carolyn had a better idea. Grabbing the hem of his black tee, she pushed the material up and over his head, then buried her face in his chest, surrounding herself with the scent of him.**

**"I like," she said, breathy and disturbed. "Now, what're you doin' home so early? No crimes to solve? I don't believe it."**

**"I left Wheeler to do the grunt work. I'd rather be here. Waitin' for you."**

**"Well, I'm not complainin'." She slid her hands under the waistband of his sweats and delved deeper, eager fingers enjoying the touch of his smooth skin.**

**"Damn it, woman," he laughed, "if I knew you were insatiable when I first partnered up with you, I wouldna wasted so much time wooin' you."**

**Carolyn spluttered, drawing back in shock. "Wooing me?! Are you kidding? You weren't wooing me, you were terrified of me. You had a good woman at your fingertips and you didn't dare do anythin' about it."**

**Mike's eyes lowered into sheepish acknowledgement. "Yeah, I admit it. I thought you were untouchable. I was an idiot."**

**"I'm glad you can admit it. Now…" Her hands pushed his sweats down past his hips. "Let's not waste any more time."**

**oOo**

**_Post-ep…_**

**Shutting the door behind her and no longer surprised to see Mike's coat already hanging on its hook, Carolyn briefly wondered if she should be worried about his shorter work days. **

**Still, she was enjoying the invigorated Mike Logan too much to question it. Her man had more energy, was more attentive, and loathe to leave her in the mornings, and she liked it. Liked it a lot.**

**And by the aroma of fried onion and something else in the air, he was even cooking their evening meal. Heading toward the kitchen, she faltered at the doorway when she spied him tossing sliced vegetables in her wok. It wasn't so much his cooking prowess that arrested her, but the sheer black silk pyjama bottoms that hung off his hips.**

**Carolyn's mouth went dry and her voice was strangled. "Don't tell me Wheeler," she pointed to the silk pyjamas, "bought those for you overseas—"**

**He shrugged. "She did. Said I needed spicin' up, which…" He jabbed a spatula at her, his brows straight in a dark line. "…I took as an insult."**

**"I don't care," Carolyn groaned, joining him. "I love them. They're almost too good to take off, but I'm sure I'll manage…" **

**Her hands reached for him, but he held up the spatula again.**

**"Not…until I feed you."**

**"Miiiiike…" She was torn between being amused and genuinely disappointed.**

**He grasped her hands and looked intently into her eyes. "Carolyn. Listen. I've been thinkin'. What if I said, I wanted out?"**

**Carolyn reeled as if slapped, snatched back her hands and stumbled then grabbed for the edge of the table. She hadn't seen this coming, had no inkling he was dissatisfied in the relationship. "You're…" It was more a gasp than a word. "…dumping me?! I—"**

**"Hell, no!" His brows shot up in shock. "I meant, out of the Force. ****_Geezus! _**** I wouldn't jeopardize the best thing I've got." Mike peered at her. "Well, what would you say?"**

**Recovering from the horror of thinking he wanted to leave her left little thought for any other issue. Her mind scrabbled for the import of what he was saying. "You want to…leave Major Case? There's nothin' wrong with that. I did."**

**"No, out of the game altogether. Hand in my shield."**

**Carolyn's lips parted, shocked anew. "This is…hard…to take in. Why…what—?"**

**Mike turned his attention back to the vegetables in the wok, averting her disbelief. "The guy we took in today…he was a movie producer…he talked about my second act—"**

**"You wanna go into movies?" Carolyn said, half-way between a squeak and a shriek. "Mike, you're sexy but you're not movie star material—"**

**"Shit, that's not what I'm talkin' about." Turning off the heat, he let the wok simmer as he gave Carolyn his full attention. "I mean…a life after Major Case, after bein' a detective, after the Force…I might do somethin' else."**

**"But Mike! You're one of the best—"**

**"I'm gettin' tired, Carolyn. Tired of turnin' in perps only to have them replaced by more."**

**"That will never change." That she could say with conviction.**

**"I know, but I don't need to be a part of it any more."**

**"I dunno, Mike. It's what you are." Carolyn tried to imagine a Mike Logan, not in his detective persona, but turning his hand at some other gainful employment, and came up with zilch. Police work was a huge part of what he was. "What did you have in mind?"**

**"I haven't got that far yet. Maybe, get a security contract. Somethin'll open up.."**

**Carolyn found herself shaking her head, selfishly seeing the implications of security work and its impact on her. "I'd never see you. You'd be leavin' for work as I was gettin' home."**

**He stepped into her where she leaned against the table. "Let's not worry 'bout it 'til it happens," he murmured, pinning her to its edge with his hips. The exquisite pressure was suggestive and stimulating, but Carolyn wasn't going to diverted.**

**Pushing against his chest, she leaned back, steering clear of his lips intent on persuading her surrender.**

**"No, let's talk about it now. I don't think it's a good idea." She slipped out of his hold and put some distance between them so she could stay objective. "It's who you are, Mike. A decision like this can't happen overnight."**

**He folded his arms across his chest, feet planted as he narrowed his gaze at her. Gone was her sexy push-over lover, and, despite being clad only in silk pyjamas, Mike had donned the implacable bull-dog persona that made him so good with perps and witnesses.**

**"It hasn't happened overnight. Those three kids, Holly—"**

**"Holly was different. That was nothin' to do with the job." Carolyn paused, her own eyes narrowing. **

**"Are you still carryin' a torch for her?" she asked, aghast at her own pettiness but unable to prevent the accusation. Mike had totally thrown her with his announcement and, even knowing she was over-reacting, she couldn't stop.**

**"No! I never—"**

**"You kissed her!" She needed to leave before she made it worse.**

**"I'm not goin' there." He turned away to the stove, prodding again at the food in the wok, and Carolyn saw red.**

**"You never do!" she cried, uncaring she sounded shrill. "That's how you end every argument. Well, not this time, buddy boy! ****_I'm_**** gonna be the one to end it." **

**Whirling, Carolyn stormed out of the kitchen and grabbed her coat as she threw open the apartment door. Sick to her stomach, she strode down the corridor to the stairwell of her building, taking the steps quickly, intent on getting out but with no clear idea where she was heading.**

**She burst into the cool night air and blinked up at the sliver of a moon above, fighting tears of reaction and curling her fists over the tremble of temper in her hands.**

**"****_Damn him!_****" **

**oOo**

**_A/N: I know, a blatant build-up to what I hear comes later in "Last Rites" but as I have no idea at this stage what does come after, I'll leave it here… And I thought it was about time these two had an explosive bust-up. It's on the cards, given the volatility of their make-up._**


	13. Chapter 13

WIP

**"Conversations"**

**_Copyright 2008 Penn O'Hara_**

**_T_**

**_Usual disclaimers apply._**

**_LOCI Timeline: During Season Seven, _****_during-ep "Betrayed"._**

**_MY LOCI Timeline: Post "No Going Back" and "Queen of Spades"._**

**_oOo_**

**_Number _****_Thirteen: Bobby's POV_**

**oOo**

**Sliding ****a tentative glance at Alex as she guided the SUV down her street, Goren felt as if he were holding his breath. **

**Waiting to screw up with her again, waiting for her to tell him his efforts weren't enough.**

**And he had been trying hard. Standing back in their briefings with their Captain, deferring to her opinions, allowing her to take point in the interrogations. He was desperate to show her that he considered her more than his 'water-carrier'.**

**He was even treading carefully with Ross. He knew how close he'd come to being kicked off the force, losing his Captain's respect and how he betrayed Alex' trust. **

**As ****Alex pulled up outside her door, Goren swung another look at her, his chin low, waiting for her lead. At this point, he would watch her safely to her door then drive the SUV to his own apartment, but, with the resumption of their intimate relationship, however fragile, Goren hoped for more.**

**Alex**** released her seat-belt, then paused, her hand on the door handle before looking at him. Her face was as professional as it was while they were on-duty, lips firmly set, eyes thoughtful, chin resolute. She considered him as he sat there, watchful and hopeful of her next move, her thoughts hidden from him, until he could stand it no longer.**

**"Eames?" His voice broke on stretched nerves and his lips trembled ****from lack of confidence. **

**The question held a bank of meaning. Can I come in? Can I make love to you? Can I stay? With his past record, he knew the only power he now had over her, was when they were alone and he had her helpless in his arms. The challenge was to get her there.**

**She took a deep breath and sighed heavily as she reached for the keys still in the ignition. "You might as well come in,"**** she said off-handedly, as she pushed open the driver's door.**

**Goren's heart soared. Not bothering to hide his eagerness, he slid out of the SUV and met her at the bonnet. His light hand at her back was frowned upon, but he ignored her glower. They were off-duty. The neighbors ****were probably aware he'd stayed several nights here. After spending the day being with her but unable to touch her, he was not going to waste a minute more.**

**Inside her apartment, ****Goren impatiently waited for her to hang up her coat, forgetting to discard his own. When she turned to move into the living room, he barred her way, quivering with the need to hold her, but curious to see if she would make the first move or torture him further.**

**With a flick of her hair, she stepped past him. "You've still got your coat on."**

**_Fuck his coat._**

**Ripping it from his shoulders he threw it on the floor, then froze**** in the next step after her.**

**_Dial it back, Goren._**

**These impulses of his were what got him into trouble before.**

**Bending slowly to pick up his coat, he hung it on the hook, using deliberate movements as he got himself under control. Alex had disappeared into the kitchen and he could hear the sounds of her making coffee.**

**_Damn the coffee_****.**

**He didn't need coffee. He'd waited all day for this moment alone with her, truly alone, and he wasn't going to waste it drinking coffee.**

**He also knew he didn't have to walk on eggshells any more. **

**Following her to the kitchen, he leaned on the doorjamb and watched her pointless preparations. One touch of his palm on her cheek and she would turn her head into it. One caress of his thumb on her mouth and her lips would part and her eyes close. A slide of his hand along her midriff and she would lean into him****. With his breath at her ear, her knees would buckle.**

**Goren walked slowly toward her.**

**Alex' hands froze on the coffee jar, then slowly lowered it back onto the kitchen counter. Her chin dropped so that her hair curtained her face and her shoulders sagged under the weight of inevitability.**

**Her body recognized what her mind would not.**

**The power shift was complete.**

**Bobby Goren was in control, where control really counted.**

**oOo**

**_A/N: Don't you just love the shift in dynamics in these two in the eppies now? That Trina woman _****_in Alex's interrogation picked it. The darling duo have now reversed roles where Alex is now Rocky, and Bobby is the side-kick, Bullwinkle. I love it! I wonder how long it will last._**


End file.
